the navel times and observer

Is it so bad that I still can't seem to get over her? I still wish she would have said yes, because I have trouble talking to her or seeing her face without being mesmerized and wanting some or more of her attention.

Lonely for life is such an easier option. It doesn't take any work, I'm already well on my way there, and it, by its nature, doesn't require anyone else's consent. Even on "dates," some just don't have any chemistry. it's funny to be whining about being lonely under those circumstances, but I would also hate to be with someone whom I didn't feel I should be with.

Oh well.

So, moving further into self-doubt on this whole Springfield application, I'm naturally beginning to second-guess myself on whether or not it even got considered, after all, I didn't put on the front of the envelope that I was applying for the copy editor/designer position.

Sigh, I'll call tomorrow to try to reach the editor, strike up the "hello, I've applied for your position, is there any opportunity for me to come down and visit the paper?" conversation.

I don't know if that would help my chances of getting the job, I'm not sure if anything I do would help my chances of getting the job.

I thought about getting a master's degree again today.

So globally, the world is about 51 percent female and only about 49 percent male.

Thus, by the fact that for most of my life, I have been unable to find anyone who'd do me the favor of giving me a first and second date, I am beating those odds, go me.

Granted those odds are tiny, but still, don't steal my thunder.

Today reality hit like a wet salmon in the face at 6 a.m. I have no money, I'm restricted to the very cheapest car I can find. I rarely find any satisfaction with my job, and I'm only at this job because I wasn't good enough at this thing I devoted about a third of my life to doing to get a job at a real newspaper (I say that after working in a newspaper that cared, but failing there).

Lazy, a slob, too dumb to make anything worthwhile of my life.

I applied to a copy editing/design job today in Springfield, I really doubt I've got the slightest chance of getting it, but if somebody's really desperate I might get an interview.

I'm gonna wait a few days to apply for the copy editor/design job in Cape Girardeau until after I get maybe an editing clip in place, and that should happen sometime soon. I'm waiting to apply to Cape Girardeau both because Springfield's deadline was sooner and I wasn't going to miss another deadline and because I think I might actually have a very very small but slightly larger chance of getting the job there.

I seriously considered alcohol tonight. I didn't partake.