the navel times and observer

There are some times I just simply want to tell my employers and everyone just what I feel about myself. I want to tell people that i have no self-esteem. I want to tell people who I am sure must believe that because I constantly seem to be trying to prove to people that I'm smart that I am really that way because I don't believe I'm very bright at all.

Sometimes I just want to tell people that I don't see anything in myself but imperfections, shortfalls and failure.

There are things I've come to accept. I use to actually be concerned that I, for instance have one ear lower than the other, that one eye tends to stray in a different direction than the other when I'm tired or I have a very unusual gait. I know those things, but eventually have come to recognize them as unimportant and it's obvious that other people don't hold them against me.

There is one thing I'm not willing to accept and that is my ridiculous girth. But at that I'm in teh gym most days of the week in the hopes that with enough dogged commitment to that I will actually succeed in slimming myself.