Sunday, June 25, 2006
Another long night
So tonight I was all alone after about 7? It took me until almost 1:30 a.m. to design three pages (and write most of them at that) and thus kept the press folks up for another couple hours, and the delivery folks for a couple hours.
I'm really glad nobody was in the office tonight. Because they would have politely had me committed for screaming curses at myself, the computer, photographs, words, lotto numbers, the air duct (the damn thing makes a bunch of weak noises that sound like somebody's on the wooden floors) and the sound of this damn Mylar balloon that lightly taps against the wall.
Sounds like somebody's always creeping up on you and I'm on my nerves to begin with.
So after writing all those damn stories, some of them, were I not in a miserable state of mind (after all I was pretty much at a point at the beginning in which if i were writing a term paper i would have cashed in and gone to bed to finish it in the morning).
So in the end we met objective 1: there will be newspapers on doorsteps tomorrow morning, and objective 2: there are no blank pages. 3, even though I beat myself half to hell I finished most of those damn three pages by myself and I didn't call anybody up out of bed to come to the office.
So yeah, pretty much convinced that there's no reason on the face of this whole damn planet why anyone would be ridiculous enough to hire me to do a job. I feel like I barely can manage to tie my shoes in the morning.
But then again who's to say I shouldn't be committed to the looney bin? I mean honestly I feel more natural being miserable than I do feeling good about anything I've ever done -- and all that can be piled up on the head of a pin with room to spare.
And with the piss work of trying to learn design and how to write and design at the same time is just enough to turn an otherwise nice job with relatively few demands after the 11 a.m. deadline into miserable fucking Saturday nights.
Bennett Spring State Park was nice today, if it were worth reading I'd suggest trying to find the story I wrote about it.
I'm really glad nobody was in the office tonight. Because they would have politely had me committed for screaming curses at myself, the computer, photographs, words, lotto numbers, the air duct (the damn thing makes a bunch of weak noises that sound like somebody's on the wooden floors) and the sound of this damn Mylar balloon that lightly taps against the wall.
Sounds like somebody's always creeping up on you and I'm on my nerves to begin with.
So after writing all those damn stories, some of them, were I not in a miserable state of mind (after all I was pretty much at a point at the beginning in which if i were writing a term paper i would have cashed in and gone to bed to finish it in the morning).
So in the end we met objective 1: there will be newspapers on doorsteps tomorrow morning, and objective 2: there are no blank pages. 3, even though I beat myself half to hell I finished most of those damn three pages by myself and I didn't call anybody up out of bed to come to the office.
So yeah, pretty much convinced that there's no reason on the face of this whole damn planet why anyone would be ridiculous enough to hire me to do a job. I feel like I barely can manage to tie my shoes in the morning.
But then again who's to say I shouldn't be committed to the looney bin? I mean honestly I feel more natural being miserable than I do feeling good about anything I've ever done -- and all that can be piled up on the head of a pin with room to spare.
And with the piss work of trying to learn design and how to write and design at the same time is just enough to turn an otherwise nice job with relatively few demands after the 11 a.m. deadline into miserable fucking Saturday nights.
Bennett Spring State Park was nice today, if it were worth reading I'd suggest trying to find the story I wrote about it.
# posted by Solon : 3:11 AM
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