the navel times and observer

Frequently I think to myself of how stressed out, depressed, disheartened I get here at the Blade. I know I'm not doing a good job and to start with I didn't think I was going to when I got here which can't have helped. I had my third (or fifth, or nth) meeting with my editor today wherein he told me if I were here on probation to be a regular employee he would have fired me by now for all my errors.

At the same time I have a wee ember of hope for tomorrow, when I interview with the Joplin Globe, which is a) smaller but still daily, b) in southwest Missouri where I already know some of the lay of the land and the people and c) not the Blade. I'm hoping most of my stupid errors (which they taught me in school not to make) will not be common occurences whereever I find my next job (even if it's in the really quite pleasant weeklies of southwest Missouri). If so, then I need to find a new occupation, one that will apparently let me make mistakes and still get paid (which sorta limits the bill of fare to meteorology or economics (sorry, dad)). I'm hoping this is only a phase (i really hesitate to call it a "learning" phase for the fact that I went to school for four years to learn what i've been told to do here).

At the very least I get to go back to Missouri, see my grandparents, and come back to go to a party this weekend. I'm really looking forward to the break because right now I feel like absolute shit.